I use the example of a car crash often when I describe a child who may have just engaged in a behaviour considered challenging. At that crisis moment, the fault of the accident, the lessons to be learnt, the consequences or fallout from what occurred, the costs involved in repairing the vehicle, all of these, in that moment in time, are not of concern. In that moment and the moment after, the wellbeing of those involved is what matters. When a child engages in a challenging behaviour, if we could see that child as someone in crisis, as someone needing attunement and safety, we move toward a place of co-regulation with that child. As a parent of a child who has a history of challenging behaviours, I can say this is much easier said than done. I too fall into the habit of making my child apologise in that moment of dysregulation and heightened emotion. I caught myself doing it earlier today. And while it may save face with parents nearby, my child is being compliant with his apology because to him, in that moment of dysregulation when his pre-frontal cortex is disengaged, the words coming out of my mouth do not make it past his little ears. Going back to the car crash, I wouldn't imagine making someone apologise in that moment of high emotion and high stress. If you know your child, I would like to give you permission to kindly refuse to care what other people think and just focus on being with and calming your child.  Save the teaching, the apologies, the explaining for another time, after the car crash. Lets meet our children where they are at in this moment and just choose to love them.